i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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