But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
