what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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