He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
