So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize