grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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