What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
porn star boner night. come get it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
