Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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