He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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