I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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