They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
