Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
