I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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