He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
