i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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