There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
