I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
