if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
