Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am naked and annoyed.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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