problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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