he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
