He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
