why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
