i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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