So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
