So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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