its not stalking. its research.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
