I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry about my life...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
