I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
