if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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