One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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