You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
how does that bad decision feel?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize