Your mouth is God's brothel.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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