Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
