I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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