Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
