You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
