Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i barfeds in our rink
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
