Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
