While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
