TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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