Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
