My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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