So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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