I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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