after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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