its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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