you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
