He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
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Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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