i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
