I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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