I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
