After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love having hate sex.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
