hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
