when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
