wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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