Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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