i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
