so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
