you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
