Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
