Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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